SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

A bit more than a month ago, I completed the second year of healing after the DD. It has been a long way since, and I am so proud of myself and every single one of us for what we have been going through.

In the first months after my whole world got shattered, it didn't seem there was any light at the end of a very long tunnel. I was in a dark place, completely devastated, barely enduring the pain I didn't deserve, thinking I was losing my mind as I could no longer recognize my husband and tell the reality from the lies. What kept me away from experiencing a complete psychological breakdown was this forum. Though I haven't posted much, I started and ended my days knowing I wasn't alone in this. For that, I am eternally grateful to you all.

I have been in IC, and it has helped me tremendously deal with pain, anger, and self-doubt. FWH and I are still in MC and see our therapist twice a month. It doesn't hurt as badly as before. Anger has subsided. I am now in the stage between depression and acceptance of what has happened. Sometimes I have bad days, like when a trigger is pretty strong and I experience an emotional flashback, but I am glad to say there are more good than bad days. Nightmares are almost gone. I keep in check with myself and reevaluate where I am at. And work on it. Journaling has also helped, especially as I could revisit my thoughts and emotions and understand myself better.

My husband has been supportive and remained determined to work on our marriage. To my knowledge, he has not made any contact with the OW nor has he engaged in otherwise inappropriate relationships with female coworkers. He is transparent, respectful, and committed to MC. He says he hates everything he did and feels deeply ashamed of himself.

I no longer feel the need to talk about his affair or the OW. I have done the talk. I have become stronger. I have survived infidelity.

[This message edited by Oizys at 7:38 PM, Wednesday, August 13th]

That's a good update, Oizys. Keep working on yourself and I hope your husband continues to work on him.

Oizys

Thanks for the update. I will take all the positivity I can get!

I am approaching year 1.5 from D-day, and it's going in a good direction even if it's bumpy at times.

Heres hoping I feel the way you do at two years out.

Another positive Reconciliation story.

Thank you for sharing.

If you had to give advice to someone just starting in this journey, what would it be (other than it takes a long time to heal)?

Advice for someone just starting on their journey... When I had my own D day, my best friend (who divorced her husband due to his cheating), told me 'it's what he does from now on that matters'. I didn't understand it at the time but now 3+ years on, I do.

Her husband clearly didn't want to be with her, he made few or no efforts to reconcile and cast a lot of blame her way. In contrast, my husband was steady, stable, consistent, and fully accepted blame very early on. He did everything he could to keep our family together, came to counselling (which is so out of character for him, he hates all that stuff). That strength and stability probably held us together because I had fallen apart.

So yes, it's about actions from here on in.