Me: WH 59 I lied to cover up my deceit. Her: BW 40's at D-day [BlueIris]M 26 years | 3 great kids

"A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. - Shakespeare

10 years later

Hello SI,
It's been 10 years after D-Day; things are not great between BW and I. Which is to be expected after betrayal, this is still my fault, not hers. I went on a business trip recently. This trip was different, there was a female co-worker who was traveling with us. I remembered my promise after D-day, no traveling with women, specifically by myself. I travel with guys 99% of the time, so business trips are normally no problem. This trip was supposed to be me, one other guy, and the female co-worker. The guy had to back out of the trip due to a death in the family. This potentially left me alone with the female co-worker on a business trip. I informed my BW and then immediately invited another male co-worker, who had nothing to do with the project. It cost my project about $5000, but keeps the promise I made intact. It would seem unprofessional to kick the female co-worker off the trip since they worked hard and provided input, and I had to attend since I was presenting at the meeting.

The trip was uneventful, I had to ride in the car one morning with said female co-worker, since then other guy had to run an errand. I was driving, female co-worker complained about my driving, and I said please drive with so&so tomorrow morning then. I used to get along professionally with said female co-worker, now I find her annoying after going on a trip together. I will not travel again with said female for the foreseeable future.

This post is mostly for wayward husbands; 10 years out, do you still monitor yourself and limit interactions with women? Could this be viewed as positive reconciliation post, or was this post better served in the wayward forum?

I still read, mostly lurk in SI these days.
Thank you for your time.
2tu.

1 comment posted: Thursday, June 19th, 2025

Looking forward and back

On another topic of NC with AP, its been a long time and never think about AP’s, except writing this post.
D day + 7 years is approaching, and I look back and I’m more shocked and disgusted with myself.
BW and I are doing okay. My boundaries are very high, and I have surrounded myself with guy friends and I’m stronger than I was
Anyone else look back at your wayward self from a long time ago? What has changed the most?

13 comments posted: Monday, February 7th, 2022

Am I making a mistake?

So, 6 years past D-day, circumstances that are somewhat similar to our previous circumstances that led to my A. The old scenario was I had to take a job away from the house in order to insure a paycheck, health insurance. It was a 9 hour one way drive to get home. The other benefit was my Dad who was sick with emphysema lived closer to my "new job". It turns out he had cancer and passed away 7 weeks after I got there.

Then the string of bad decisions and poor morals led me to have an A, and betray my wife. We've been rebuilding our marriage, and are in a far better place. I love my wife more than ever.

Fast forward to now.

I've been offered a great job, my dream job at a national lab. It's only a 3 hour drive, my wife supports me and I'll need her a to get a job as we will have 2 households to support. Our kids are older, and she'll be down here in Georgia while I'm up north. In a few years she'll follow me up there, once our youngest is out of high school.

the scenario is better but I have concerns. If she can't get a job and the finances stress our marriage again. I know the signs from before, and much more wary of co-workers. No rooms for rent with any women involved. I have faith in my wife and truly believe we are stronger than ever.

Thoughts? Chase a dream job and go forth, or play it safe and stay home and always wonder. My wife supports either decision.

8 comments posted: Saturday, April 24th, 2021