My Wife’s Emotional Affair – And How We’re Rebuilding

Three years ago, before we were married and had our child, my wife went to a music festival with friends. While there, she was very drunk and kissed a married man she had just met. She didn’t push him away and, while she later framed it as uninvited, she’s since admitted she doesn’t fully remember the moment due to alcohol.

In the weeks after, they exchanged flirty messages. She shared personal insights about our relationship, and while she initially claimed she only sent suggestive photos (like cleavage shots), I later discovered she sent at least one partially nude photo — something she eventually acknowledged. There were also many nude photos taken during that period that weren’t shared with me, which raised doubts about what was actually sent. This is what I found when I had a feeling something wasn't right & found a cluster of nudes during a specific period of time. Which was an unusual pattern. She now says she doesn’t remember sending any full nudes, but admits she may have taken some for him in mind. There was also some ambiguity about whether they ever planned to meet again.

What made things harder was that she kept this a secret for years — through our engagement, wedding, and early parenting. I uncovered signs recently based on a gut feeling, and she admitted to the kiss and messages soon after I confronted her.

I’ve had to work through intense emotional swings — disbelief, betrayal, grief, anger, and obsessive rumination. But I’ve also come through it with a surprising amount of clarity and strength. We’ve talked deeply. She’s shown remorse, has taken full responsibility, and we’ve begun rebuilding from a more emotionally open and honest place.

I still struggle with the ambiguity — especially around the photos — but I believe she didn’t fully realise the damage this would cause, and she’s genuinely recommitted to our family. The affair wasn’t physical beyond the kiss, but the emotional betrayal was very real.

We’re considering marriage counselling. I’m working on healing not just for the marriage, but for myself.

3 comments posted: Thursday, May 15th, 2025