Kind words

D-day was about 3 weeks ago. She has started therapy and showed sincere remorse in the short period of time. She has brought up feeling neglected from me and not giving her attention and make her feel "wanted" before the A, even though she still hasn’t found the exact reason she started the A. When should or shouldn’t I start giving compliments and kind words to my WS? I didn’t give her much before the A due to my ego and resentment towards her, now I just want to shower her with kindness and compliments during R. But I also don’t want her to think everything is ok. I have only showed her appreciation for opening up and being honest. I have also showed appreciation towards her big steps trying to fix her mess and her commitment towards therapy and daily aplogies. Any advice would be appreciated

8 comments posted: Wednesday, June 4th, 2025

Intimacy

I understand that each person is different and each A if different with different "levels" of infidelity. I also understand there is no correct or right answer to this question. But my question is, how long after D-Day would be "ok" to start intimacy in the bedroom? I know a lot of factors come into play. It has almost been 3 weeks since D-day for me but there are a lot of things that have been triggering me and not sure if it will bring us closer or let her think that everything is ok, and minimize consequences.

4 comments posted: Wednesday, June 4th, 2025

2 weeks post D-Day

My story is in my bio. I found out a bit over 2 weeks ago. I am a complete mess. My wife is very empathetic and sorry and feels stupid for what she has done and what has put me through. She has been trying to initiate intimacy in bed with me. I gave in last night but it triggered me in a few ways given the details she has provided in her confession. Does anyone have advice on how to go about it? Also, wondering if trauma(hysterical) bonding is good or bad for R? I have read mixed reviews all over the internet.

4 comments posted: Monday, June 2nd, 2025