How would you feel if you found out that your WS had recorded an argument between you both, without your knowledge?
Last night I came across a 1.03 minute audio recording, from a few weeks ago, when we had a huge row. I listened and it confirmed it was a brief recording of the argument. During the argument I was hysterically crying, telling him to just leave me alone. Historically he shows little empathy and becomes very defensive – and when I am emotionally flooding, I simply cannot cope with him refusing to leave me alone and listening to his excuses/lies/defensiveness! It is a really unhealthy, toxic cycle. He has made numerous promises to do things differently moving forward, and give me space / time when I need it. It never happens.
So the recording was of me trying to get my headphones off from him (I had them on before as I was asking to be left alone, but he took them off my head ☹ ). In the recording, you can hear him saying very intentionally "stop grabbing me, stop grabbing me" and me crying saying "I’m not grabbing you, I’m just trying to get my headphones back". I recall it even felt odd at the time that he was saying that and at some point in the argument I even asked him if he was recording me or something!
I am mortified that he has done this without my knowledge. I feel violated, unsafe and deeply betrayed (on top of everything else). He has said it is because I was being so loud and screaming that he was worried the police would be called and he had that as evidence. But evidence, how so?! It’s a one minute recording, of him telling me to stop "grabbing" him, when I wasn’t, I was simply trying to get my headphones! If feels like he was trying to manipulate the situation to him being a victim. If he truly wanted the situation to not escalate, he could have just left me alone. I was pleading with him to just leave me alone, I was not screaming and shouting AT HIM!
He has claimed he has never done this before. I do not believe this, as I have sensed before he has and he has threatened to record me with I’m upset and angry numerous times. He also claims that he took that recording and then completely forgot about it. If it was the first time he had done it, surely he would remember?
I feel so disgusted, I feel sick just thinking about how he could again betray my trust in such a way (again), when I am vulnerable and flooding - when he could just leave me alone to calm down. And maybe show me some care and empathy. Ugh 😣
[This message edited by WhiskeyBlues at 12:36 PM, Friday, June 20th]
