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Newest Member: Baebbles327

Reconciliation :
Two years after the DD

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 Oizys (original poster new member #84785) posted at 10:58 AM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2025

A bit more than a month ago, I completed the second year of healing after the DD. It has been a long way since, and I am so proud of myself and every single one of us for what we have been going through.

In the first months after my whole world got shattered, it didn't seem there was any light at the end of a very long tunnel. I was in a dark place, completely devastated, barely enduring the pain I didn't deserve, thinking I was losing my mind as I could no longer recognize my husband and tell the reality from the lies. What kept me away from experiencing a complete psychological breakdown was this forum. Though I haven't posted much, I started and ended my days knowing I wasn't alone in this. For that, I am eternally grateful to you all.

I have been in IC, and it has helped me tremendously deal with pain, anger, and self-doubt. FWH and I are still in MC and see our therapist twice a month. It doesn't hurt as badly as before. Anger has subsided. I am now in the stage between depression and acceptance of what has happened. Sometimes I have bad days, like when a trigger is pretty strong and I experience an emotional flashback, but I am glad to say there are more good than bad days. Nightmares are almost gone. I keep in check with myself and reevaluate where I am at. And work on it. Journaling has also helped, especially as I could revisit my thoughts and emotions and understand myself better.

My husband has been supportive and remained determined to work on our marriage. To my knowledge, he has not made any contact with the OW nor has he engaged in otherwise inappropriate relationships with female coworkers. He is transparent, respectful, and committed to MC. He says he hates everything he did and feels deeply ashamed of himself.

I no longer feel the need to talk about his affair or the OW. I have done the talk. I have become stronger. I have survived infidelity.

[This message edited by Oizys at 7:38 PM, Wednesday, August 13th]

BW, 36 WH, 36 PA and EA approx. a year and a halfDDay: July 6th, 2023Trying to reconcile

What's done in darkness always comes to light.

posts: 7   ·   registered: Apr. 26th, 2024   ·   location: Europe
id 8874789
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:11 AM on Thursday, August 14th, 2025

That's a good update, Oizys. Keep working on yourself and I hope your husband continues to work on him.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4683   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8874837
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Theevent ( member #85259) posted at 2:58 AM on Thursday, August 14th, 2025

Oizys

Thanks for the update. I will take all the positivity I can get! grin

I am approaching year 1.5 from D-day, and it's going in a good direction even if it's bumpy at times.

Heres hoping I feel the way you do at two years out.

Me - BH D-day 4/2024 age 42Her - WW EA 1/2023, PA 7/2023 - 6/2024, age 40 Married 18 years, 2 teenage children Trying to reconcile

posts: 116   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2024
id 8874841
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 2:21 PM on Sunday, August 17th, 2025

Another positive Reconciliation story.

Thank you for sharing.

If you had to give advice to someone just starting in this journey, what would it be (other than it takes a long time to heal)?

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14890   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8875138
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