A bit more than a month ago, I completed the second year of healing after the DD. It has been a long way since, and I am so proud of myself and every single one of us for what we have been going through.
In the first months after my whole world got shattered, it didn't seem there was any light at the end of a very long tunnel. I was in a dark place, completely devastated, barely enduring the pain I didn't deserve, thinking I was losing my mind as I could no longer recognize my husband and tell the reality from the lies. What kept me away from experiencing a complete psychological breakdown was this forum. Though I haven't posted much, I started and ended my days knowing I wasn't alone in this. For that, I am eternally grateful to you all.
I have been in IC, and it has helped me tremendously deal with pain, anger, and self-doubt. FWH and I are still in MC and see our therapist twice a month. It doesn't hurt as badly as before. Anger has subsided. I am now in the stage between depression and acceptance of what has happened. Sometimes I have bad days, like when a trigger is pretty strong and I experience an emotional flashback, but I am glad to say there are more good than bad days. Nightmares are almost gone. I keep in check with myself and reevaluate where I am at. And work on it. Journaling has also helped, especially as I could revisit my thoughts and emotions and understand myself better.
My husband has been supportive and remained determined to work on our marriage. To my knowledge, he has not made any contact with the OW nor has he engaged in otherwise inappropriate relationships with female coworkers. He is transparent, respectful, and committed to MC. He says he hates everything he did and feels deeply ashamed of himself.
I no longer feel the need to talk about his affair or the OW. I have done the talk. I have become stronger. I have survived infidelity.
[This message edited by Oizys at 7:38 PM, Wednesday, August 13th]
BW, 36 WH, 36 PA and EA approx. a year and a halfDDay: July 6th, 2023Trying to reconcile
What's done in darkness always comes to light.