Betrayedbythegoodguy (original poster new member #86128) posted at 10:09 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2025
Any SAHMs out there end up leaving their WHs? What do you have to do to prep for that, financial and job-wise?
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:23 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2025
I wasn't a stay at home mom but became a single mom when I left. Are you going to be receiving financial support from your H? That will be the biggest indicator of financial comfortability for you. I had enough saved to secure my own apartment and moving costs when I left and had a full time job so it made the transition somewhat easier (I received no financial help from my EX). Finances were tight in the beginning but I was able to do it and am now doing well. Also if you co-parent well will be helpful in taking care of the kiddos. Mine were older when I left 14 and 17 so it wasn't as difficult as when they were younger, but still had to get them around. I was not on speaking terms with my EX and am completely NC now that kids have grown up.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 10:25 PM, Tuesday, May 6th]
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:28 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2025
Also have you been to a lawyer? They can help paint a better financial picture for you. Of course it will cost money which you may be able to get them to have your H pay especially if you are a SAHM. Initial visit with a lawyer is usually free.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 12:28 AM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2025
I was a SAHM for 20+ yrs when we divorced. It was a PITA for sure.
I got spousal support. I had to do some sort of job evaluation where this person determined what types of jobs I’d be qualified for and how much they paid - this factored into the equation for determining support. Also had to prove I had been applying and not getting hired/interviewed.
It was an adjustment for sure. Terrifying, really, but it all worked out!
Get your ducks in a row - make sure you have financial records copied, watch that he isn’t going on a spending spree with marital cash, etc.
Definitely get legal advice!
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
